Everything is ok–Nothing

I wrote  a little story for Halloween- let me know what you think..

 

I don’t remember how I got here. I was sitting at my desk at work, typing a report, half zoned out from boredom and exhaustion; a product of not sleeping well the night before. My report was due at the end of the week and I knew it was important but somehow I couldn’t make myself care. My eyes glazed over and I could feel that little jump; my head bobbing as I fought off sleep. The screen grew fuzzy. The words lost meaning between my mind and the screen. That’s the last thing I remember.

I must have fallen asleep. Yes, I must be dreaming. Maybe, I never even went to work and I only dreamed that and i’m really still in bed. Things like this don’t just happen. Right? You can’t just wake up to nothing. A giant empty expanse, not a room or a field, just space- empty space.

What am I standing on? There’s light but where is it coming from? How long have I been here?

I’ll just sit down. If I’m lost maybe someone will notice and come to find me. I mean, they would have to right? Eventually, someone would realize that I was gone…right? And it isn’t like there’s anywhere I can go. There aren’t any landmarks. Nothing. That’s what it is. It’s nothing.

Not even a fly or ant for company. It’s been a hour- maybe two. I guess it could be longer. Just breathe. I’m ok. Everything is ok. Everything is ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. O o o k k k

I’m hungry. I think I should have probably eaten lunch or dinner a couple hours ago. I’ll just sit in this spot. I’ll just count the small circles in the pattern on my pants. I never noticed them before. One inch circles with dots in the middle- they overlap, creating more circles between them. These don’t have dots. The weave is slightly darker and there are lines, slanted lines running through the circles. And I must have snagged this sweater, there’s a hole in the inside of the left elbow. Maybe it happened when they brought me here. They, whoever they are. Unless I’m dreaming.

Where’s my phone? I never go anywhere without my phone, even in a dream. They took my phone so I couldn’t call for help. They stole it out of my pocket before they left me here. Left me to die in the nothingness. Left me.. to die. I can’t die, right? Someone will come.

Maybe, if I listen really hard I’ll hear something- it’s never this quiet. The world is full of cars and people and machines and nature there are always some sounds even silent sounds. If I’m really quiet then maybe I’ll hear something and then I’ll know where to go. Mind, be quiet. Stop talking! Stop!

Ok.. ok. Maybe I can feel a breeze or some electrical current- static electricity, I could feel if I should go or stay. But I don’t feel anything. I can’t feel anything at all.

Ok, I’ll just walk this way- it’s as good a way as any. I’ll walk in a straight straight line this way, whatever direction it is, and eventually I’ll end up somewhere. I’ll just walk, walk until I find someone or something. What am I walking on, there’s no dirt or gravel or tile or carpet or leaves or sticks or linoleum or glass or stone or wood. But I’ll walk. I’ll just keep walking.

I’m not cold. Should I be cold? I don’t feel cold or hot or the tingle of moisture on my skin. I can pinch my skin and I can feel I have skin- I am skin. Only skin and hard bone beneath. But no cold- no warm- no nothing.

Did you hear that?

No. I didn’t hear anything.

I thought I heard a voice.

No, there’s nothing here. Nothing to hear. Nothing here; nothing hear. It’s only you and you and nothing.

But I thought…

No, you didn’t hear anything. You didn’t. There’s nothing.

How long have I been walking? I should have found something by now- it’s been hours? Days? Miles and miles…and miles.

No one will find you.

What?

No one will even look. No one will miss you. No one will notice. You are nothing.

But I have a job and family. They will. They will. They will.

No. No one is there. No one cares about you. If you were prettier…smarter…funnier…better then they might come find you. Then they might look for you.

Just keep walking. Just keep moving and something…

Something will what? Happen? Save you? Nothing is going to save you from me.

From me?

Do you know what happens when you lock someone in a room with no windows and no way out, with nothing to do and no one to talk to?

Stop it.

At first they seem ok. They might even enjoy the silence. Take a nap and rest peacefully.

Stop!

But after a few hours, a few days they start to lose touch with reality. They might start to see things and hear things.

Please.. Please stop.

The longer they sit alone the worse it gets. Until…

What? Until what?

You’ll see.. soon enough.

Let me go. Please just put me back. I won’t tell anyone. You won’t get into any trouble.

Hmmmm.

I’ll give you anything. Anything you want- anything I have!

What I want you can’t give me. I will take it. Slowly. Stop walking.

I just want to go home! Please!

You’re Pathetic; begging; Begging for what exactly? You were just as alone in your little apartment, sitting alone in your little cubical. You were distracted, yes but no less alone. And I was there, hungry and waiting- straining against the bars you placed so lovingly. Dying, so slowly. And then I began to eat. Yes, I found something delicious and it filled me up.

How long, have I been here?

Been where?

Here

Does it really matter?

Please, how long?

Time is an illusion.

Then humor me.

4 years, 321 days, 5 hours, 4 minutes and 3 seconds.. Give..or.. take. But really a blink of an eye. It’s all relative.

Where am I?

Which part? Oh, don’t look so confused. I can feel the recognition seeping in. You know. You’re nowhere and everywhere. You’re neither here nor there. Neither flesh nor air. You never left your desk, sweetheart, and you never will again.

I’m dreaming…

Keep telling yourself that. You wasted your life dreaming; now the nightmare begins. When I leave you will know what it means to be alone, truly.

Please don’t leave me here!

Aww, don’t worry…everything’s ok.

Hello? Hello?! Helloooooo! Please…

Wake up.

Wake up.

Please wake up…

4 thoughts on “Everything is ok–Nothing

      1. I know it doesn’t take much to scare me, but the way the speaker’s wonder transitions from a dreamy, languid confusion to short bursts of panic, like a record skipping, really hooked me and carried me along down that spiral of fear as the scene unfolded. I love how the new voice at the end trickles in, sly and half-heard at first, as if it comes from inside the narrator’s mind–which, of course, because it mirrors so well our own thoughts when we’re left too long alone.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Exactly, I wanted there to be a question as to the sanity of the narrator– I LOVE unreliable narrators. But then I thought what if your “inner demon” was actually a real demon, feeding on your feelings of loneliness, fear and inadequacy. How interesting of a “bad guy”- Plus I wanted to leave it open for interpretation.. Is she sleeping? Is any of this real? Did she die at the beginning- they saying dying is like falling asleep.
        I would like to preform this one.. it feels like it needs to be a video or part of a play.

        Liked by 1 person

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